My routine Facebook browsing led me to here. Somewhere I've always wanted to be be, kwa ntliziyo yam. (Where my heart resides.)
I was going through my daily Facebook news feed when I came across a friend's blog post about a reunion she was attending for the matric class of 2005 at a school that I once attended but left at the end of grade 9. She took us, her readers, on a journey where she shared her feeling of emptiness when she stepped foot in a town she once called home. In her post, she explains how this town that gave birth to her and bred her has become foreign and meaningless eversince her mother relocated to Durban.
I found myself being drawn into her world, into her heart, her thoughts, her sacred space. I was inspired. Inspired to start what I've been puting off for as long as I first realised my love for writing.
You see, I'm the procrastinating type, the "one day" type of woman, the believer in "tomorrow is another day." I'm the "I'll start at beginning of next month type." Yes I'm that type. If anything, this year has and continues to teach me that whatever I put off for tomorrow, for next month, for that "one day", is the very same thing I will find then. Not done. Not touched. It will still be waiting for me then. I guess it's why i've made a mental decision to turn on a new leaf. I am a work in progress in stopping the procrastinating habit and it seems to be working because I'm here. Finally.
So in the attempt of starting my blog, I came across my first stumbling block, which was giving this baby of mine a name. I have never read up on what constitutes a blog, nor have I been a follower of people's blogs before, but I have, however, gone as far as opening links that have been forwarded to me or have been shared by friends. I have decided though, not to read up on blogs and blogging, the typical guidelines and suggestions. I want to create a place where I try to relay, make sense of and share my thoughts.
The name of my blog, I thought to myself, as I starred at the rather lousy 'Asanda Tengimfene' I had originally typed out, should carry some level of significance and without thinking twice, Lathitha (ilanga) was born. It was only after deciding on the name though, that I could piece together what this name means to me.
It was on a...I don't recall the day of the week...but it must have been a Friday, because I was wearing jeans that day and we were only allowed to wear jeans to work on Fridays. I was still based in East London then, doing my internship at Alexander Forbes for a year. I remember feeling tired that particular day, East London summer days tend to have that effect on one. They can really drain one. As I was approaching the staircase, the cutest boy, he looked 5 then, walked up to me and, as if sent to brighten my day with nothing but a jovial aura and a heavy lisp to accompany it, said "molo sisi, ndicela iR2 yothenga istraw." I still remember his exact words and I can still hear his failed attempt at pronouncing the letter 'S' as I smiled and reached into my handbag for my wallet. I took out a R2 coin to fund his purchase of the sugar-filled straw he wanted so much he was even willing to ask money for, from a stranger. As I gave him the money, I held his hand and asked what his name was. "Lathitha sisi." was his reply. I chuckled under my breath, not only because i was tired, but also because I knew, with a lisp like his, that he probably had had enough mockery at school. He didn't need an adult like myself, who thought it was so cute by the way, to add to his complex. More than anything, I think i fell inlove with the way he said his name because, at the time, I had no idea what it meant. It was only after asking my mother that I came to know that Lathitha is a Xhosa name meaning Sunrise. I decided then, yes, then; i'm a dreamer like that, that my first child's name would be Lathitha. Four years down the line I've come to realise that I still haven't lost sight of that dream. This is made apparent to me when I catch myself having conversations with my partner, about our "Lathitha", who is yet to come.
Who would have thought though, that today, Lathitha would be the cacoon of my thoughts. The rebirth of old thoughts. The birth of new thoughts.The life of second chances. The beginning of a journey of self discovery. The net that will catch my thoughts before they escape me. Who would have thought that Lathitha would be... "Another new beginning."
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